Living the dream that sometimes is a nightmare!

We have discussed the many advantages to having a home studio.  The fame that is laced with envy that moves through our own personal social groups and networks--after all, it is pretty cool.  The countless hours that we can invest in what every home recording artist and/or engineer wish were his/her full-time job.  The freedom to create and produce what we want, when we want it, and how we want it. The fairytale is over,  now enters the nightmare.

A friend, from out of state, that wants to record her own album.  Yikes!  Well, it sounds fun [not really] but my studio, fourteen years ago, was not portable.  Turns out that did not stop her from coming because she could leave her family for two weeks and stay with me, in my house.  After all, what kind of friend would I be if I did not give her a place to stay? Being a crafty individual, I thought "quick on my feet" and said "It would be expensive" and come up with a ridiculous amount of money to pay a "friend" to do a recording in a new [then it was new] setup, with little experience.  Imagine my surprise when she said she'd be down in two weeks.

As I considered my dilemma, I decided I would make the best of it.  I reminded myself that I was going to get paid to learn more about what I love to do--play music and record.  My friend did not play any instruments so I became the "studio-musicians" -- for an additional small fee.  Don't judge me, everyone has to eat and I took two weeks off my regular job to do this project for her.
  
You're probably wondering what is the "nightmare" part of this story, it started when she arrived.  She walked through the door, I showed her to her room, offered her some food/drink [which she didn't want] and then she said, "let's get started."  It's evening, I worked all day, I was exhausted.  This lady drives six hours walks into my house and wants to go to work NOW!  You guessed it, this was going to be a long two weeks.

I'm not a complete shrewd, I got that she was excited. So we "got started" in the most basic of terms.  I showed her the recording studio, we discussed her song choices, review copy right laws, and any new developments that I might need to know about, such as backup vocal selections--on one song she wanted a choir, YIKES!  I took some notes and entertained my guest. 

Next morning, I woke up, grabed a Diet Coke -- don't drink coffee  -- and went into the studio.  I had a rough cassette demo of the artist singing her songs "acapella" [without music].  Please remember that I never said she was a good singer.  Although sometimes torturous, I had to listen to this tape, to determine: the key the song was sung in, the structure of the song (like intro, vs, chorus, vs, chorus, tag), what instruments I should suggest for the song.  Since I was playing all the instrument (except lead guitar--I hired that out) I had a lot of advice I needed to be prepared to give.  Now, I had the WOW factor on my side, in that seemingly everything was, "that's so good" type response.  I take pride in doing my best and that works for me.  I chose a country drum, some songs had a stand-up bass other electric, rhythm guitar on most, some orchestra on one.  The artist was a Southern Gospel singer. 

I got started laying the drum tracks.  These tracks are tedious to lay if you want to do them right.  You have to listen, stop, go back and listen again.  More caution had to be given because it's not my songs, so I had to record the music the way the vocalist sung, not the way I thought it should be done.  But, honestly, for me that's all still the "fun" part...then enters Jar Jar Binks [the good natured Star Wars character that is always getting into trouble]. 

My friend cooked me breakfast and serves it to me.  Nice, right?  Then she stood behind me for hours watching every move I made and talked constantly.  How was I suppose to do a good job like this?   I distracted her with errands..."Would you mind to go to Wal-Mart and get _____?"  Thank God for Wal-Mart.  That worked for a day maybe two days.  Everyday was the same.  She drove me crazy and I just didn't want to be the butt-hole friend that couldn't handle the situation.   

I worked all day and most nights.  I wanted to get this project done ahead of time.  I was about to loose it.  As soon as the basic tracks were laid, I set up the vocal chamber for her to belt out some tunes.  After all I didn't want to record all the music tracks just in case I had made a mistake; I would have so much time invested in the tracks to have to start over.  Again, more WOW factor here.  She was like a kid on Christmas morning with every song she heard. Yes I admit, that made me feel great.  All the music tracks were good--no errors--thankfully.  She recorded her lead vocals (singing through the pantyhose pop-filter) and loved every minute of it.  At least until I sat her down and calmly discussed with her that I had to have some space to work on the final mix.  She was not excited then for sure.  I suggested sight seeing or visiting other friends in the area but instead I got resentment.  The "How dare you" reaction.  All I wanted was time to finish recording the additional instruments, back up vocals, and work on the final mix.  She would be consulted on every aspect just not "breathing down my neck" while I'm trying to work. 

The rest of the project was created with resentment and attitude from my friend towards me and guilt and attempted resolve from me towards my friend.  I felt so bad, I called in several vocalist friends and got them to perform the choir she wanted for the one song, which was crazy in a little home recording studio.

The job was finished in ten days.  In ten days, I WOW'd my friend, recorded some cool jams, recorded my first small choir, made a few bucks and lost a friend forever.  Before you ask, yes of course I've tried to contact her via phone/mail and she want return my calls or letter to date.  The funny part of this story is that I enjoyed the project itself. 

This was  dream turned nightmare, when I woke I knew never to let a "client" (regardless if friend or foe) stay in my home when working on their recording project--hotel and business hours--definite must haves.
   



 

Home made remidies that work

The vocalist asked, "Did you make this with a clean pantyhose?"  You betcha!  She stepped up to the home-made pop filter and began to sing.  I saved a few bucks by by straightening an old wire coat hanger which I then bent into the shape of a small circle apx 4" in diameter.  Next, I cut a piece of a nylon pantyhose and stretched over the nylon over wire to make a  screen.  I then secured the pantyhose to the wire by tying it into a knot in several places around the circle.  After the nylon was secured, I then attached the straight end of the coat wire to a boom stand by wrapping it around the microphone stand several times.  Then I adjusted/bent as needed to make sure the pop filter was positioned correctly.  For those that are unsure as to what a  pop filter does, well it softens the "P" and "T" during pronunciation of lyrics while recording vocalist.

Another does of getting by, requires setting up a vocal isolation booth in the hallway with some quilts.  This entire project is reminiscent of the days when I played camping with old sheets and blankets. [ha!] Seriously though, when I record a vocalist I usually prefer to add reverb post-recording (or after I record the vocal).  So, that means I want the room to be dead--I don't want sound waves bouncing all over the place.  To do this, I took my big old Tascam 388 multi-track reel-to-reel and moved it out in the living room.  Then I placed the microphone and stand (equipped with my home made pop filter) out in the narrow hallway.  Then I hung a huge patch quilt up right behind the vocalist.  Wah-la!  Now I have an isolation booth.

When you're recording you've got to get a strong guitar signal, right?  But, if you don't have a direct box or a built in preamp on your recording board then what are you going to do?  Well here's what I did back in the day.  Give it a try.  Hook the guitar up to the amp you usually use for live performances or practice amps.  In my particular scenario I had to use my little practice amp.  Then hook your amps output into the recording mixer board.  This will allow the signal of the guitar to be higher.  You can elect to record the amps equalizer and/or effect while recording the guitar or after the recording.  Personally, I like to record everything standard and then manipulate it post-recording.  But it all depends on your preference and what you and the artist prefer--especially if its a paying job.

Another big deal is studio monitors, which mostly is headphones in a home recording studio.  Sure, I listen through the studio monitors, but lets face it, most recording is done when my kids are asleep.  I use the headphones a lot and check it later.  Plus when artist are recording they prefer to have headphones on so they can hear clearly and control their own volume.  But in a home studio it can be difficult to have enough headphone jacks for everyone at one time.  Multi-line headphone adapters at the professional level can get really pricey fast.  But don't freak out yet, there is a remedy.  For $2.15 at your local Radio Shack you can buy a small battery operated (AAA -- weird, right?)  multi-line headphone jack.  It actually connect four set of headphones.  The down side, is that there isn't any individual volume controls but in a pinch it can save the day.

My philosophy is that its not what you use to make your music, its that you make it!  Enjoy the trip.
 

Milli Vanilli?

Lady's and Gentlemen....What you're hearing is not an all live performance!  After paying high dollar for a live performance of the artist of your choice, you get a fake show of sorts.  I've experienced performances that pretend to be "live" across all genres. 

What does it mean to put on a live performance anymore, anyway?  My interpretation of a live performance, is when there is a musician playing every instrument that I'm hearing, with the exceptions of syth. sounds because I've grown accustomed that it's a package deal.  Also, all the backup singers need to actually be present and singing live too.  Here's a few examples: 

A southern gospel group called Psalms 101 played a CD with prerecorded tracks of all the other instruments, except for the lead guitar player and the vocals of the husband and wife team.  Even the rest of the backup vocals are recorded.  When someone requested a song off of one of their recordings, they tripped out because they didn't have the CD with the recorded music and backup vocals on it.  Are they good?  Yep!  Are they live?  Nope--is my vote. 

I went to see Cher on her final tour (yeah, I know it lasted three years) and she rocked.  Dancers, musicians, pyrotechnic show, some live musicians but there were tons of instruments and vocals in the mix that were not represented by human beings--this was hidden more in her concert because their were so many distractions by everything else going on--good job, but not really live!

Last night I took my mom to see Debbie Reynolds at the Strawberry Festival in Plant City.  The performer will be 78 on April 1, 2010, so I give her props for just showing up, much less the jokes and trip down musical film's memory lane.  She had a good jazz piano player (Joey Singer) that played a gorgeous baby grand piano--he was an exceptional pianist.  She also had a jazz drummer--not my style of drumming--but he was very good.  While performing portions of various musicals there were all kind of orchestra and string sounds, the whole "big band" feel--with no band, not even a synthesizer.  Debbie did good, but the performance wasn't truely "live."

Here's my grip.  If you're going to perform be honest about who and what you are.  Why pretend to have a band that you don't have?  I want "real" performances.  I can accept the use of a synthesizer but it should not be the entire band, if that's the case you might as well perform with a soundtrack.  Which brings us to Milli Vanilli.  The pop group from the 1980's that reached stardum and was then exposed to the public that that were lip-singing to prerecorded tracks that were not even their own vocals.  Everyone cried, "Fraud!"  I agree.  Yet, now we have become complacent and satisfied to pay more for less at every performance we attend.  Often we don't even know we're getting less, in that many people do not even notice that the music/vocals are "canned." 

The next time you go to a concert, sing, or performance of some type listen carefully and look around and ask yourself, "Is this really a live performance?"